What he did not fully anticipate was the tiredness. He thought he knew what tired was. His younger years had given him what he assumed was a reasonable benchmark. He was wrong. Fatherhood recalibrates that entirely and no amount of prior experience quite prepares you for it.

Style has shifted since the girls arrived, though not in the way you might expect. Tim still wants to be a cool dad. That part has not changed. What has changed is the ego behind it. He cares less about how he looks to others and more about how he feels in what he is wearing. Less performance, more presence.

The best advice he carries is about partnership rather than parenting. When things are hard and you and your person are both running on empty, remember it is not each other you are frustrated with. It is the situation. Be there for each other when you come out the other side. The advice he would give to other dads is equally practical. If something does not work, try something else. Every kid is different. Every phase is different. Staying rigid helps no one.

"You've got to try 20 different things. And that's for each kid as well."